100 Best Hilarious Christmas Jokes for the Whole Family

Christmas is the jolliest time of the year. One of the best ways to spend quality time with family and friends this season is by sharing hearty Christmas jokes.

We have put together the funniest Christmas jokes for you. So, whether you are in search of Santa Christmas jokes, Elf, dinner Christmas jokes, or Christmas jokes for kids. There is a long list of jokes you can choose from to keep your family or guest entertained during Christmas.

Reindeer and Elf Jokes

christmas jokes

Q: What do you call an elf who sings? A: A wrapper!

Q: What do reindeer say before they tell a joke? A: This will sleigh you

Q:Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star? A: Beyon-sleigh!

Q:What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? A: Horn-aments!

Q: How did the reindeer learn to play the piano? A: He was elf-taught.

Q:Where do Santa and his reindeer go to get hot chocolate while flying in the sky? A: Star-bucks.

Q: What do you get when you cross a deer with rain? A: A reindeer!

Q: What could you call an elf who has just won the lottery? A: Welfy

Q: What’s worse than Rudolph with a runny nose? A: Frosty the Snowman with a hot flush!

Q:What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? A: Rude-olph!

Snowmen Christmas Jokes

Christmas jokes

Q: What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies? A: Snowballs.

Q: What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? A: Freeze a jolly good fellow!

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite!

Q: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? A: An abdominal snowman.

Q:Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? A: He was picking his nose!

Q:How do snowmen get around? A: They ride an icicle!

Q: What do snowmen have for breakfast? A: Snowflakes!

Q: What do snowmen eat for lunch? A: Icebergers!

Q: What do snowmen wear on their heads? A: Ice caps!

Q: Why is winter a snowman’s favourite time of year? A: Because they can camouflage!

Santa Christmas Jokes

Christmas jokes

Q: Why is Santa so jolly? A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Q: Why doesn’t Santa have any kids? A: He only comes once a year.

Q What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? A: RUDEolph.

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? A: Claustrophobic.

Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? A: Because he has private elf care!

Q: What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? A: The elf-abet!

Q:What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? A : Santa Clues!

Q: What nationality is Santa Claus? A: North Polish.

Q: Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? A: Santa Jaws!

Q: What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A: A rebel without a Claus.

Q: What’s Santa’s favorite snack food? A: Crisp Pringles.  

Q: What do you call Santa’s helpers? A: Subordinate clauses

Christmas jokes

Q: What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A: A Holly Davidson!

Q: Who is Santa’s favourite singer? A: Elf-is Presley.

Q: What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? A: He gives them the sack!

Q: What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance at school? A: Present.

Q: What did Santa say to the smoker? A: Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!

Q: How do you know Santa Claus is good at karate? A: He has a black belt!

Q:What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up in the sky? A: Looks like rain, dear!

Q: Why does Santa go down the chimney? A: Because it soots him!

Q: How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? A: Nothing – it was on the house.

Q: Who do Santa’s helpers call when they’re ill? A: The National Elf Service!

Q: Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? A: He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone!

Funny Jokes For Christmas

jokes

Q: Why is Christmas just like your job? A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q: What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? A: The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

Q: What do you call a can wearing a Christmas hat? A: Merry Can (American)

Q:What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? A: He got 25 days!

Q: How does a Jew celebrate Christmas? A: He installs a parking meter on the roof.

Q: How did Scrooge win the football game? A: The ghost of Christmas passed!

Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? A: It needed to be trimmed.

Q: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? A: Because the present’s beneath them!

Q:What did Adam say the day before Christmas? A: “It’s Christmas, Eve!”

Q: What is the best Christmas present in the world? A: A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

Q: What do monkeys sing at Christmas? A: Jungle bells!

Q: How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? A: They had a weigh in a manger!

Q: What carol is heard in the desert? A: ‘O camel ye faithful!’

funny jokes

Q: How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet? A: Only 25, there’s no L!

Q: What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? A: Stick with me and we’ll go places!

Q: Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? A: Because they were two deer

Q: What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? A: Jingle Smells!

Q: Why wouldn’t the cat climb the Christmas tree? A: It was afraid of the bark.

Q: What is the most competitive season? A: Win-ter!

Q: What athlete is warmest in winter? A: A long jumper!

Q:What do sheep say at Christmas? A: A Merry Christmas to Ewe!

Q: Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? A: Their days are numbered!

Q: How did the bauble get addicted to Christmas? A: He was hooked on trees his whole life!

Q: What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve? A: Auld Fang Syne!

Q: What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? A: Tinsilitis!

funny jokes

Q: Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? A: They always drop their needles!

Q: How does Christmas Day end? A: With the letter Y!

Q: What did Frosty’s girlfriend give him when she was mad at him? A: The cold shoulder

Q: When is a boat just like snow? A: When it’s adrift!

Q: What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? A: Quit hanging around!

Q: Who delivers presents to cats? A: Santa Paws!

Q:What part of the body do you only see during Christmas? A: Mistletoe!

Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party? A: Because he had no body to go with!

Q:What do you call buying a piano for the holidays? A: Christmas Chopin!

Q:How do you lift a frozen car? A: With a Jack Frost!

Q: Why is everyone so thirsty at the north pole? A: There’s o well, no well!

Q:What’s a child’s favourite king at Christmas? A: A stoc-king!

Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.

Dinner Christmas Jokes

funny jokes

Q: Why was the turkey in the pop group? A: Because he was the only one with drumsticks!

Q: What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A: A Christmas Quacker!

Q What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? A: A Nice gnawing you

Q: What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple? A: A pineapple!

Q: Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A: A mince spy!

Q: How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey? A: On the dark side!

Q: How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? A: No Brussels!

Q: What happened to the turkey at Christmas? A: It got gobbled!

Q: What did the pack of Walkers say to the Skips? A: Merry Crispmass

Q: What’s brown and sneaks around the kitchen? A: Mince spies.

Q: I got a Christmas card full of rice in the post today? A: I think it was from my Uncle Ben.

You might also like our compilation of the best Christmas songs lyrics

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12 thoughts on “100 Best Hilarious Christmas Jokes for the Whole Family

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